My last post proposed one of my theories as to why people think a language as crazy and irregular as English is easy to learn.

My idea, coming from my experience teaching at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English, not research, is that nearly everyone can find many, many words or phrases that they already know.  English is a huge conglomeration of many languages, so there is something in it for everyone.  Plus, English words and phrases have flowed around the world, and have become standard in nearly every language on earth.

An exuberant language.

My second theory is also based solely on my experience at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English.  My theory is that English is a very exuberant, inventive language.  It loves to borrow a good word or phrase, and it loves to make up new ones.  It is flexible, lively,varied, and immensely forgiving.  It’s a crazy language.  How can people not love that?

Many of my clients at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English have mentioned that they prefer to read in English.  They have told me that they feel things are more precisely explained in English, and that they understand concepts better in English.

I suppose that could be because Americans in particular, and English speakers in general, are more verbose than speakers of other languages.  We just write more, perhaps, so there is more to read on any particular topic.

I could also be that English has more words in common usage than other languages (a fact), so has more ways to explain an idea.  We can drill down deeper in English, perhaps, and we can perhaps explain a bit more colorfully in English, which just might make for a more interesting read.

Comments, please.

I would love readers’ comments as to why they think English is easy to learn.

So, to build on my last post, which explained why English grammar is impossible, why do nearly every one of my clients at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English tell me that learning English is easy?

They say that English is, for them, easier than learning French or Portuguese or Russian.  On the face of it, that doesn’t make sense, either.

Irregular grammar, irregular spelling, irregular pronunciation would not logically indicate that the language is easy to learn.

My theories

I have a couple of theories that are, as far as I know, unfounded and unproven.  They just come from my experiences here at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English.

First, I think that English, particularly American English, is such a combination of other languages that nearly everyone in the western world at least can recognize words and phrases.  Just as English speakers can study Latin to increase their vocabulary, speakers of other languages can study English to find words or remnants of words from their native languages.  If they speak more than one language, for example German and French, then this only increases their platform.

Something for everyone in English

In English there is something familiar to everyone.Not only do western world non-English speakers regularly find their own language in English, but non-English speakers  everywhere in the world have taken on English expressions in their own languages.

According to Bill Bryson in Mother Tongue, in 1964 just under 10 percent of words used in Japanese newspapers were English, or at least interpretations of English, such as “nekutai” for “necktie” or “bata” for “butter”.  If that was the case in 1964, imagine what it is in this post-modern tech-driven world.

You already know more English than you think

My clients find they already have a large working English vocabulary just from living in the modern world.  Without even trying they know hundreds, maybe thousands of English words.  As they actively study and try to acquire vocabulary, they realize that there are many more words they know or can guess at, coming from a conglomeration of many, many languages.

Bill Bryson is the kind of man I could fall madly in love with.  I would marry the man if:   a) I knew him, b) I hadn’t already been married for 30 years, and c) if he was at all interested in leaving his wife and family for a 56 year old woman with bad feet but good hair.

Actually, the same is true with Mick Jagger.  In fact, I have a fidelity exception written into my marriage contract for Mick that my husband has even agreed to (he’s thinking, “fat chance”, and after 30 years he’s probably right).  Are you reading this, Mick?  Hmmm….. Thought not.

But that’s perhaps too much information, known in the USA as TMI – as in “sweetheart, you do have a lovely shit-eating grin on your face, but really, the exact details of last night’s date are TMI for your mom.”

Why I Love Bill Bryson

But, I’ve digressed. Why do I love Bill Bryson?  And who is he?

Well, Bill Bryson is a wonderful, funny writer who has written many books on all topics.  Loosely, he could be called primarily a travel writer, but his books are far more than that, and not always about that at all.

His book that I have recently thoroughly enjoyed is called The Mother Tongue – English and How It Got That Way.  In it Bryson explores the history and development of the English language (not everyone’s cup of tea, but I love stuff like this.  Yeah, I know….)  And, what he concludes is that the English language is crazy.

And, why I love him is that he concludes that English grammar is also crazy and makes no sense whatsoever.  As I said, I love this man.  (You can see that my pathetic life has become way, way too involved with grammar.)

Learning English Grammar Is NOT the Same as Learning English

I’ve always been good at English, at reading it, at writing it, at speaking it, but I have never, ever been good at grammar.  In middle school, when we first studied grammar, I failed every single grammar test I ever took.  I went on to study English literature at UC Berkeley, quite a reputable institution, and managed to graduate with extremely high grades, but only because there were no grammar tests.

I have long felt that learning grammar bears no relationship to using the English language well.  And now, I am vindicated.  Bill Bryson says, “In English we possess a language in which parts of speech are almost entirely notional” and “the parts of speech must be so broadly defined as to be almost meaningless.”

EXACTLY! I am a rational, logical person, as are my Lake Tahoe Institute of English clients.  I can’t always explain grammar questions to logical English learners because there is no logic to much of it.  To date, I have done my best, but have all too often resorted to saying “I’m sorry, but English is crazy.  Just memorize it.”  And now I know, English is crazy, and it is because I am so logical that I can’t explain it.  I’ll be writing more abut the reasons for this in future posts, but for now, let me just say:

I love you Bill Bryson!

When I tell people what I do for a living I get all kinds of remarks and questions from them.  Everyone always wants to know how and why we do this.  They want to know what textbooks we use, and how we conduct our “classes”.  They want to know all about the “structure” of the classes. 

No Ordinary Language School

It is very difficult for many people, teachers in particular, to understand that this is no ordinary language school, and that we don’t teach in an ordinary way.  Rather, we have found that by working individually with clients, and designing their “lessons” around exactly what we feel they need to know, or what they want to know, we have tremendous success. 

Really Speak English

We teach very little grammar and formal structure here at the LakeTahoe Institute of English – we teach what you need to know in order to be able to actually speak English, to have satisfying conversations with other English speakers, and to have confidence in your ability to speak English.  Click on the following link if you would like to see a short video of me talking about how we got the idea for starting this kind of language school:  Founding the Lake Tahoe Institute of English.

Last year Kim and I made several videos for the Lake Tahoe Institute of English, so that potential clients could see us, listen to us, hopefully feel more comfortable with us, and also to explain some of our philosophy of teaching and learning languages. 

Let me tell you, making a video is not as easy as it sounds, at least for me.  It was a very humbling experience.   An actor I will never be.  If I seem so unnatural just being myself, I doubt if I could ever follow a script. 

How NOT to Learn a Language

So, forgive me that I am not an actor, but, if you are interested in some of my ideas about language learning, just click on this link:  How NOT to Learn a Language.  I hope you enjoy it, and learn a bit more about the Lake Tahoe Institute of English.

Before coming to the Lake Tahoe Institute of English many potential clients want to see photos of where they will be staying.  I know it is intimidating to think of coming to a place for several weeks, work one-to-one with an instructor, and stay in an unknown place.  We can describe it all we want on the website, but nothing says it like pictures.  So, Kim and I put together a little video of where you will be staying.  We hope you will consider enrolling in our program.  To see where you will be staying, click on the title,  A Tour of the Lake Tahoe Institute of English, Enjoy. (And I have to say, we are total amateurs at making videos, so please forgive much.  Kim, though, is far better at this than I am.)

A lot of people think that as adults they can’t learn a new language, or that they can’t learn it as well as a child can.  And a lot of adults would like to learn a language for reasons as varied as needing it for business or travel, for personal enrichment, and because research shows that learning another language is one of the best ways to keep your brain working well.  The good news is that adults can learn new languages, and they can do it as well as children, given the right learning conditions.  Watch the this video, Adults Learn Language Better Than Children, to learn more about this topic.

In the last couple of months I’ve had the good fortune to speak with a huge variety of non-native English speakers, both clients of mine at the Lake Tahoe Institute of English and casual acquaintances.  I’ve spoken with native speakers of Spanish, French, Dutch, German, Portuguese, Korean, Vietnamese and Mandarin.  I have noticed two common threads in all of these conversations.

You Speak Better Than You Think

First, most of these people spoke English far better than they thought they did.  They nearly always apologized and seemed embarrassed by their perceived lack of ability.  Of course I know it is intimidating to speak confidently to someone you know teaches the language, but not all of them knew what my profession is.

You probably speak better than you think, too.  So relax a little bit.  Just talk and all will be well.

It is the most unusual English speaker who will be impatient with you.  Most are extremely patient and appreciative of your efforts.  After all, we know that as a rule, we don’t speak any other languages, and as a rule, we are embarrassed by that.  We just appreciate anyone who has succeeded at all in learning our language.

Finish Saying Each Word

Second, and as important, I’ve noticed that the one problem that these non-native English speakers from many different backgrounds have in common is that they don’t finish their English words.  They drop the final letter or two, which leaves the listener often unable to discern which word the speaker is using.  This is probably the single most important factor in making your speech understandable to others.

For example, someone might say “Why you ha so man bo to ree”, instead of “Why do you have so many books to read?” or “I lie to ee mee for dinner” instead of “I like to eat meat for dinner.”  As the listener, in the first sentence, we don’t know if you are saying “ha”, “have”, “has”, “hair”, “ham” or “man”, “many”, “men”, etc.. You get the idea.  It makes it so much more difficult for the listener.  Add in the fact that so many listeners are themselves non-native speakers of English who have an accent of their own, and then you have real trouble.

It seems to me that a very simple but elusive fix to this serious clarity problem is to remember how the word is spelled, and then make sure you say all of it (that is, unless the ending is silent, which it sometimes is in our crazy, irregular English language – you just have to memorize those).

I know, you think you are saying all of it, but I’m telling you, chances are, you are not.  Slow down and finish your words.  I promise, you won’t have to repeat yourself as often.

Pie.  I love pie.  Americans love pie.  We love all kinds of pie.  Cream pies, fruit pies, you name it pies.  It is our favorite dessert, and our most famous American one.  And apple is our most famous pie.

You could say that chocolate chip cookies or brownies are more widely enjoyed, and that would be true, but that is only because they are easy to make, and they have been spread around the world by Nabisco.

But pie, there is an art to making pie, and few anymore who can do it well.  It’s almost a secret society amongst us pie makers.  Others look longingly at our beautiful pies and remark that they would never attempt to make crust.  They don’t own a rolling pin (!!), so could never try it.

Oh, but they want to eat a piece of our pie.  In fact, they will go to great lengths to get a piece of pie.  Once, way back when I was in college, a friend convinced me to drive all over San Francisco one night trying pies in different restaurants.  She was certain that she could find a perfect piece of pie.  Many hours and many bites later, we came to the conclusion that my pie was the very best.

Birthday Pie

Pie has been queen in my family forever.  When I was a little girl, we had birthday pies instead of birthday cakes.  My favorite was rhubarb and banana.  Pure heaven when served warm with some melting vanilla ice cream.

When I came of age, my mother inducted me into the secret society of pie makers.  She taught me her crust recipe, which she had learned from her own mother, and she from hers.  I’m sure our recipe goes back many generations more than that.  But, that takes us back to 1865, and that is far enough for me.  She taught me how to handle the dough (so very gently), how to know how much water to add (more than you think you need), and how to wield a rolling pin with skill.  It took me many tries to learn how much filling needs to be inside, and how to flute the edges beautifully.

When I married Kim, he of course was forced to become a pie convert and sing my praises.  No more chocolate birthday cake for him.  A summer boy, he needed a nectarine and berry pie for his special day.  Then came the kids.  Pie again.  It is tradition.  Now my oldest daughter is about to get married.  Guess what?  Wedding pie! I am in charge of making 25 fruit pies for the day.  And I wouldn’t have it otherwise.  After all, this is my baby’s wedding we’re talking about.  The pie is critical!

The Greatest Desert Ever

At the Lake Tahoe Institute of English I nearly always serve apple pie on the first night a client arrives.  I have to do it then, as it takes time to make a great pie.  Later in the week, I don’t have so much time.  So, the first night, I go all out.  Apple pie, sometimes apple-blueberry pie.  They just have to be exposed to the greatest American dessert ever.

My Super Secret, Never Before Divulged (except to my family) Recipe for the Best Apple Pie Ever

Here is my recipe, in the family for 150 years, for the very best apple pie:

You will need:

Crisco (although several pie making friends prefer butter, most great pie makers agree, Crisco is critical to the crust)

Baking powder

Salt

White flour

Ice water

Tart apples

White granulated sugar

Ground cinnamon

lemon juice

A rolling pin

A pastry cloth (or a dish towel or a large piece of waxed paper)

A pastry cutter or two table knives

A pie plate, preferably glass

Measuring cups and measuring spoons

Here’s how to do it
First, measure 2 cups flour into a mixing bowl.  Add about a quarter teaspoon of salt and about a half teaspoon of baking powder.  Mix them together with a fork.  Then add 13 to 14 tablespoons of Crisco to the flour.  Using the pastry cutter, mix the Crisco into the flour until it looks like small peas.  If you are using knives, hold one in each hand and cut through the flour and Crisco over and over again until it looks like small peas.

Then, add enough ice water, around a half cup, to blend it all together until it is mixed, and stickier than you think it should be.  Use your hands for this, and mix carefully and gently.  Don’t work the crust hard.  It will make it tough.

Lay out what you are going to use for a pastry cloth.  Sprinkle it generously with flour.  Take half of your mixed dough and roll it into a ball with your hands.  Pat some flour all over it.  Then, on your pastry cloth, pat it into a slightly flattened round.  Turn it over to make sure it has a light dusting of flour all over it (so it won’t stick when you roll it).

Using the rolling pin, and beginning in the middle of the dough, press gently and roll the dough outward.  Coming back to the middle, roll again in another direction.  Dust with flour and turn over as needed to keep the dough from sticking.  Be gentle.  Continue until you have a circle of dough that is an even thickness, and is large enough to fit in the pie plate and drape over the sides a little bit.  Put it in the pie plate so you can start on the top crust.

Make the top crust in the same way as the bottom.  It will need to be large enough to drape over a full pie plate, plus enough to turn the edges under to make a seal.

Then the filling

For the filling, peel, core and slice 7 or 8 medium size tart apples (I like to use green Granny Smith’s or Pippin).  As you slice, put them into a bowl of water with some lemon juice in it.  This will keep them from turning brown.

Next, mix 1 to 1 1/2 cups of sugar (depending on how sweet the apples are) with 2 tablespoons of flour (to help thicken the juice) and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon.

Drain the apple slices, and place half of them in the pie plate.  Pour half the sugar mixture over the top.  Add the rest of the apples, then the rest of the sugar mixture.  Sprinkle a little lemon juice over the top if you like.

Now, the hard part.  Center the top crust over the filled pie plate.  Cut away all the extra crust except for about 1/2 to 1 inch extending over the edge.  Using your fingers, roll the extended edges over and under to be flush with the plate edge.  Now you have to flute it to seal it and make it beautiful.  The movement you want is the same as if you were to take a piece of paper along an edge holding it between the thumb and forefinger of each hand.  You use the same motion you would then use to tear the paper edge.  So, very gently, using both thumbs and both forefingers, pinch and bend the crust just like you would tear the paper, only more gently (don’t tear, just seal and make look ruffled).

Finally, cut an X in the center top of the crust to let the steam escape.  You can fold back the edges of the X if you like.  Prick some holes in the crust with a fork, or carve a pretty design, to further let steam escape.  Ta da!  A beautiful pie!

Bake it at 350 degrees for about an hour – until the crust is golden brown, and the juices are bubbling.  Let sit before serving.  Serve warm with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.

Mom (me) says

There is NOTHING better!  It tastes like Mom and home and comfort and everything being right in the world.  It’s worth coming to the Lake Tahoe Institute of English just for the pie.  If I do say so myself.